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01/25/2005: "JDM Should Be Fired"

Don't bother scrolling down to see who wrote this. It's me. JDM. Your old friend and fireplace regular.

I'm writing this because JDM over at readjdm.com stole my idea for a post about the Pentagon/aphrodisiac scandal, which you read here on CB's fireplace earlier today (see: "War Bonds, Male Bonding, Etc."). Now he's trying to cover it up by pretending he was just quoting me instead of stealing my ideas. Oh, you want proof? I got proof up the wazoo. Here's the latest post to JDM's Journal, called "This Is Not a Cross-Post," in which my own post is quoted word-for-goddam-word:

CB of CB's fireplace fame wants me to post to his blog from time to time, but he's put his foot down on the issue of cross-posting entries from JDM's Journal (i.e., he doesn't want me to do it). For this reason, after writing about the Pentagon/aphrodisiac thing a couple of hours ago, I wrote something different about it over on his site:

Reuters reports that, in 1994, the Pentagon kicked to the curb a "proposal to develop an 'aphrodisiac' to spur homosexual activity among enemy troops." This plan "called for developing chemicals affecting human behavior 'so that discipline and morale in enemy units is adversely affected.'" This would have replaced the old method of spreading gayness, whereby soldiers -- properly fitted with rubber gloves, of course -- picked up real-live gays by their rear ends and shoulders, then rubbed their bodies against those of naked enemy soldiers. Apparently, though, that method still works.

Now, in my humble opinion, that was a pretty good post. And in an ideal world, it would've appeared not just on CB's site but my own site, too. However, I'm a man of my word... and as you can see, I have kept it. I didn't cross-post the original post. Nor did I cross-post the post I wrote in an effort not to cross-post the first one. All I did was quote it, which, from what I understand, is a perfectly acceptable form of documentation. Writers note their sources -- or, as the kids say, "give props" -- all the time. In fact, it's standard procedure. It's so you won't appear to take credit for ideas and research that aren't your own. So the way I see it, since JDM at CB's fireplace is the one who inspired JDM at JDM's Journal to write what you're reading right now, it only makes sense that I'd quote him and give him credit for it. After all, CB never said anything about self-adulation by way of blockquoting (though I suspect he soon will), so I'm in the clear. I get my way, he gets his -- it's the best of both worlds.

P.S.: I'm only telling you this because I plan to quote this entire post in a new post at CB's blog. Basically, I'm looking to create the same infinite loop you would get when you stand between two mirrors.

Infinite loop, my ass. Can we be honest here? Can we? For just a moment? This had nothing to do with an "infinite loop." And as God is my witness, JDM KNOWS IT. Don't let the fact that he and I share a body distort the real issue here. CB specifically asked both of us not to cross-post Journal/fireplace entries, but some of us apparently have a hard time keeping promises. JDM of Read JDM fame didn't do this to create a so-called "infinite loop," all right? This was all just a ploy to put MY Pentagon/aphrodisiac post on HIS stupid website in some way, shape, or form (i.e., blockquotes). Libertarians have a word for this kind of trickery. We call it "theft." Intellectual property theft, to be precise. CB has worked very hard to recruit some big name libertarian writers, and he has asked each of them to post ORIGINAL MATERIAL only. JDM thinks he's found a loophole here, but, by quoting me, he's really only reneged on his half of the bargain. Not only is he wasting my time (and yours), but, to cover his tracks, he's wasting valuable bandwith and storage space, too. Better we should devote these resources to fighting oppression than devote them to childlike schemes. "This Is Not a Cross-Post," he says. Oh, no? Then what is it? Mac and cheese? JDM should be ashamed of himself. And his parents should pray that God forgives them for his birth.

For the record, JDM's original Pentagon/aphrodisiac post was called "The Pentagon Is So Not Gay." I've quoted it below:

According to a report I just had the great misfortune of reading on Reuters, in 1994 the Pentagon turned down an idea to “develop an ‘aphrodisiac’ to spur homosexual activity among enemy troops.” This sort of reminds me of that other time back in the ‘60s, when the Pentagon was in college, and one of its friends tried to get a little too friendly with it. That friend shall remain nameless, but its name was the Math & Sciences Hall and it eventually eloped in Massachusetts with that little Tomb building at Yale. Luckily, the Pentagon turned it all down. And that, my friend, is why we don’t let gays in the military.

Oh, in case you were wondering, the aphrodisiac plan “called for developing chemicals affecting human behavior ‘so that discipline and morale in enemy units is adversely affected.’” Or some such bullshit. I don’t know. Personally, I’m a fan of the Freedom of Information Act, but I would’ve filed this one under “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” I was much better off before I knew about this.

Idea stealer.