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01/25/2005: "War Bonds, Male Bonding, Etc."

Reuters reports that, in 1994, the Pentagon kicked to the curb a "proposal to develop an 'aphrodisiac' to spur homosexual activity among enemy troops." This plan "called for developing chemicals affecting human behavior 'so that discipline and morale in enemy units is adversely affected.'" This would have replaced the old method of spreading gayness, whereby soldiers -- properly fitted with rubber gloves, of course -- picked up real-live gays by their rear ends and shoulders, then rubbed their bodies against those of naked enemy soldiers. Apparently, though, that method still works.